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Counting Down From Zero

My preciousssss

Yes, I WILL take another Dew but I am gonna need you to add a Zero, cuz I'm trying to watch my figure.

Let's get this out of the way right away so I can label this a review.  I don't know what sort of witchcraft is going on over at PepsiCo, but this Mountain Dew Zero is Mr. Bombastic.  Nearly all of the taste of dew with none of the gut rot.   Each can takes me on a magical journey.  Just remember this important piece of advice as this blog is nothing if not educational.  Take that little slice of heaven out of the fridge and place it for EXACTLY 11 minutes prior to consuming.  You can thank me later.

Review over.  Oh, by the way...I refuse to believe that Pepsi Zero is in fact Pepsi Max.  Conspiracies abound because it tastes better.

Time to put on my big boy pants.  No, not metaphorically speaking...like seriously I don’t fit in my pants.  It feels like a tipping point where it will be a lot easier to just let go.  I need only walk towards the light of the fridge and simply embrace a life of elastic pants.

So it is no big secret I turn fifty this year.  I doesn't really phase me all that much.  It isn't like it snuck up on me, there were plenty of warning signs along the way.  What did sneak up on my is my weight.  Holy crap...I have never had a "2" at the beginning of the scale.  Never.  Now I do.  I have circled this year as my big stand against Father Time.  I circled January 1st and planned to make big things happen this year...I was like a race horse just waiting for that gate to open.  The calendar flipped...time to unleash the Kraken!


I failed to launch.  The only Kraken I unleashed was a whole lotta triscuits and that special sharp cheddar lead block that is sold only at Walmart.  I am not built for diets, I am not built for moderation, I am not built for non-caffeinated motivation.

I just feel tired all the damn time.  Do you feel me?  I don't know if it is the fact that as an empty nester I don't HAVE to leave for activities so I generally never do.  It is cold out.  I am going stir crazy indoors.  I have all of the big ideas.  Same as always.  What I need is to finally put some of this considerable weight behind those ideas and tap into a little motivation.

So today is little more than laying down the gauntlet.  I have big plans this year.  Fix up my old bass boat and live on the river.  Photo journal my entire 50th year for no one's benefit but my own.  More than anything, get back in the game.  That means three things:  Less beer, more exercise, and back to the intermittent fast.  I have no chance hauling myself to the remote areas of Iowa this summer if I am not in shape. 

I am seriously struggling sticking with this fasting thing.  I have tried every variation and have yet to settle on a method of choice but I really want to do this.  My plan is to start March 1st with either 18 hour windows or the 5:2 where I will have two days with less than 100 calories on those 2 days.  I need peer pressure.  I need a team.  I need to hit June firing on all cylinders, or at least as many cylinders as a 50 year old engine can fire. 

True, this post has no content.  It is just my drawing a line in the sand.  If anyone stumbles across it and wants to join me in this goal and tackle this challenge...well...misery loves company and I could use some.

T-minus 4 months until we reach the goal line.  The countdown has started and there is no more time to waste.  Let's do this.

Must...have...all of the corns.


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